Straight Liquor
by ColdBloodedFalicity
Summary: Liquor: Because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad. What happens when a hopeless drunk gets thrown onto the recon corps? What about when he proves to have valuable talent, and Levi is put in charge of taking away his obsession so he can reach that talent? "Well tough luck bastard, I don't want to be here in the first place!" LevixOC Yaoi BoyxBoy
1. Cheers

**-.-**

**Straight Liquor**

**Chapter 0:**

_Here's to what I won't remember_

_Cheers_

* * *

I never drank necessarily because I needed to

I drank because I lived my life in a bottle

A bottle drifting along the shoreline

Pushed out to seas

A bottle without a message

Without a burden

Without a past inside of its glass walls

They drank to remember

I drank to forget

.

.

.


	2. How To Feel

**Warnings: **OC (Original Character), Language, Violence, Mentions of Abuse, Addiction, **Un-Betaed**. If any of these things offend you, feel free to either test your comfort zone, or exit from the door on the left.

**Note: **Eli (E-LIE) Elias (E-LIE-YAS) Ambroise (AM-BROI-SE)

**Straight Liquor**

**Chapter 1:**

_Alcohol makes you feel the way you ought to feel_

_Without alcohol_

* * *

"Eli~!" A far too chipper voice called out to me, rousing me from my dead like state, as I lay on my comfortable coffin of a mattress. I waited for a moment, eyes closed as if hardened with lead and body limp and lifeless; articulating weather my disturbance had left me in peace, or was simply waiting to be answered. When I continued to hear only my sleep calling out to me in the distance, I had more than half a mind to run off once again with said sleep, and indulge and pitch black fantasies. Unfortunately, that wonderful train of thought was cut achingly short, as my thin covers were wrenched off my body, baring me to the cold.

"Rise and shine you drunkard!" Screeched my aggravation, causing my eyes to snap open with an unappreciative groan to follow. Above me, in my field of vision, stood a slightly blurry woman with chocolate ringlets and dark eyes; a grin stretching across her pudgy face, displaying her pearly whites to my blinded pupils.

I instantly slapped my palms over my eyelids and rubbed them fiercely, before slowly sitting up to reach my arms into the air with a drawn out yawn, earning me a few satisfying pops in my arms and upper back. I then rolled my neck from side to side, before revealing my green eyes once more, looking up at my current bother with frustration. I knew for a fact that there was no need for me to be woken today, as my schedule was so clean it might as well have been transparent.

"There's no training today Shigeko; I checked." I told her, a deadpan look accompanying my face.

The woman towering over me had the utter audacity to _giggle_ at my statement, causing me to harshly resist the yearning to slam my head repeatedly into the nearest wall, if for no other reason but to put me in a blissfully isolated coma. A heart stopping thrash was suddenly sent straight to my forehead, as if from the idea alone, and I hissed, instantly bringing one hand up to my forehead with clenched eyes, while my free hand reached for the half empty bottle of liquor on my nightstand. The tall, glass bottle was missing its lid, as I had misplaced it last night, so I was able to swiftly bring the cool opening to my lips, before tipping my pounding head back and allowing the warm liquid to slide smoothly down my throat like an annually prescribed medication, barley leaving behind the burn it should have.

Once a few more large gulps were taken from the bottle, and my body had slowed it's roll on early hangover and withdrawal symptoms, I swished the bottle around in my hand while a stared, now calmingly, up at Shigeko.

"Go on you irksome plum. Why have you seen fit to curse me with your presence this fine, lazy evening?" I drawled, while leaning back on my free hand as I continued to swish around my angel in a bottle.

Shigeko rolled her eyes at my behavior, before finally speaking up, albeit with a sarcastic pinch, "If you must know, this _plum_ just happened to be nice enough to inform you that you slept through your internal alarm, and that it's only five minutes till the graduate ceremony, your drunk-of-your-ass highness."

I simply sat quietly, blinking owlishly for moment, before slowly reverting back to my lazy stature to voice a clear, "Bullshit."

I knew perfectly well what the do-do-bird was trying to accomplish. She was becoming bored and wished to derive amusement from sending me into frenzy and running out a grumpy drunk, by messing with my brains time schedule. Well…the idiot had another think coming.

"My dear, sweet sugar plum," I said in mock condolence, causing Shigeko to droop her head with a sigh, already figuring her devious plan had failed. I took another swig of my alcohol before continuing, "My internal clock and calendar are forever perfect. And as long as it claims I have jack diddly squat to do today, the only way I'm gettin out of this bed is if a Titan smashes this roof in and steals my liquor." I pointed at her with one of the fingers that were wrapped around my bottle, "Got it?"

Shigeko ran her fingers through her chocolate strands with a tired sigh, "Yeah, yeah, whatever…" She then took a step towards me, before plopping down on my mattress, making herself comfortable and resting her head on my shoulder, "I just wish something cool would happen. This is our last day as a Military Trainee before we sort ourselves into a subcategory. We should be partying."

I snorted, "The Chief would mutilate us. And don't you mean division?"

"Whatever," she said dismissively, waving her hand lazily in the air, "Details, details; I just want to get the show on the road! Seriously, who needs a day off before the big decision?" Shigeko raised her head off my shoulder to cross her arms with a pout, "I don't…."

An amused smile tugged at my lips, but my tired body refused to do much else. Shigeko's dark eyes stole a glance my way, as if expecting something more from my deadpan expression, before shifting towards me to poke her finger into my shoulder.

"What's up with you?" She asked curiously, "You're usually in the same boat I am, with this killer boredom and all."

I made a slight groan in the back of my throat, before bringing my bottle back to my lips to take a large gulp, "I'm not in a good mood yet."

Shigeko giggled before proceeding to eye my drink skeptically, her index finger placed on her bottom lip. Slight anxiousness rose up within me and I narrowed my eyes at her, slowly hugging the bottle to my chest protectively. There was no way in hell she was getting a drop of my only means for salvation.

"Avert your eyes badger," I commanded.

Shigeko simply rolled her eyes and pointed a finger at my bottle, "What exactly are you drinking?"

I furrowed my eyebrows and brought my bottle up to my face, scrutinizing the label. "Looks like rum…why?"

The woman nodded knowingly, making an 'ahh' sound, "No wonder you're down today. Tequila. Tequila is what you need my friend."

I raised a confused eyebrow, "Why Tequila? If you're thinking of giving me something stronger, that you're better off grabbing me a bottle of whisky. Although tequila takes effect faster, rum is even stronger than whisky. Leave me and my rum alone, doofus."

Shigeko snorted, "You're the doofus here. I've been your amigo for two years now, and it only took me one to figure out that your mood ranges according to your drink."

I widened my eyes slightly at the information. This was certainly news to me. I took another swig of rum before answering, "Elaborate, if you will."

Shigeko suddenly sprang herself from my mattress and bowed to me as a personal butler would, "My pleasure!" She exclaimed, before gaining a strict posture and holding one finger in the air. She reminded me of my Aunt Eileen when she would preach to me the language of the French, always yapping about how my accent wasn't right.

"Firstly," said Shigeko, bringing me out of my thoughts, "Rum, what you got in your hand right there," – she points to my bottle – ",Chills you out and gives you a calm, tranquil effect. In short, you're boring as hell." I eyed my bottle skeptically, almost accusingly, as Shigeko now held two fingers in the air, "Tequila is your party drink, and my personal favorite. It really puts you in the crazy, fun, excited mood that we both know and love."

"What about whisky?" I asked, still wondering why my friend was against it.

Shigeko rolled her eyes to the heavens, "Oh, don't even get me started on that one! I swear, half a bottle of that and you're ready to murder anybody who looks at you funny. Or even looks at you period…"

I nodded in understanding, before taking another gulp of rum, "So I'm a mean whisky drunk."

Shigeko nodded, "Yep. 'Member when we first arrived for training? Chief Shit-Head did the whole who-the-hell-are-you scene." She deepened her voice and mimicked Chief Shadis, puffing out her chest to look buff and everything.

I gave a breathless laugh into the top of my bottle, which had been nearing my lips. I remembered not so clearly of the incident, but the fragments that did come to mind shed some light on Shigeko's theory.

**Flashback**

_"You there!"_

_"Yes sir!"_

_"Who the hell are you!?"_

_I put a finger to my ear and attempted to drown out the words the overly vocal ass-hat kept spewing over and over. It was for too hot outside, I had been standing in the same place for half an hour, and god, would he shut. Up! I knew I should have chugged the rest of my whisky bottle while I had the chance. I was far too sober for this shit…_

_Two other people shouted out their names and reason for being here, until the Chief Dick walked over to me. I rolled my eyes into the back of my head._

_Here we go…_

_"You there!" He bellowed, stomping into my personal space with a vengeance. I continued to rub my poor ear lazily, but my patience was slowly thinning. He was this close to popping my bubble of get-fuck-out, along with my half empty bottle of restraint._

_As soon as he yelled the words, "Did you hear me fucker," while spitting his nasty saliva onto my face, I had forest green daggers glaring straight into the Chief's sunken eyes._

_"Say it, don't spray it, jackass!" I yelled, looking as if I had blown is clothes back with my voice._

_I heard many gasps from all around me, excluding one snicker from a certain brunette in front of me. The Chief's eyebrow twitched dangerously, and a murderous aura seemed to seep out of him, coating my soul. However, I refused to back out and continued to stare him down. I had every right to be pissed; he had just spit in my face and nearly busted my eardrum!_

_The man angrily slammed his forehead against mine, shaking the brain inside my skull. I nearly stumbled to the floor, but I steeled my shaky knees and ignored the pain exploding in my head, continuing to glare into his will shattering gaze._

_"Who the fuck do you think you are? Shit head!" He shouted in my face, pushing his forehead harder against mine. I grit my teeth and copied his movements, hoping to cause him the same pain he was bringing down onto me._

_"Names Elias Ambroise, ass-hat! Who the hell are you!?"_

_To say things went horrendously awful from there would be an understatement. The Chief had brought his head back and slammed it twice as hard against mine, causing me to scream in agony and collapse. He didn't stop there, oh no, he landed a swift kick to my abdomen, and sent me skidding on the warm ground, before ordering me to eat dirt._

_To say the least, I soon got up with a mouth, and stomach, full of little rocks and gritty chunks of the earth. The Chief didn't move until I had swallowed it all._

_"Gonna kill him," I mumbled, before spitting brown goo onto the ground and wiping my mouth with the back of my hand; eyes murderous. "Never should have come…"_

_Shigeko giggle, much to my irritation, and turned her head around to me, "Come on, at least he let you join. You need to be more positive."_

_I instantly fixed my glare onto her "You need to stop breathing my air."_

**Flashback End**

"Alright, Alright…" I sighed, wincing at the memory, "I get your point. So what about my other favorites?"

Shigeko, adorning a smirk on her face at the memory she most likely recalled of the incident, showed me three fingers as I took a large gulp of the rum that was surly disappearing, "Numbah' three is Scotch! This nice drink makes you sad and overly pessimistic. You're a real downer before you even down a fourth of the bottle."

I nodded, "No Scotch, check."

"Next one is Vodka," she said, now displaying four fingers. "Vodka is on pair with Tequila, according to your moods. You get all bubbly, painfully optimistic, social, and can't stop laughing to save your drunken existence."

"Then why not give me Vodka?" I asked, "If it's fun you're looking for, than that should do just fine. Plus, Vodka doesn't leave a scent, so I won't get in trouble if the Chief decides to check me."

I despised when the Chief would stop me randomly and command me to breathe on his face; it was so awkward. It was even more awkward when he actually smelt the liquor in my breath.

Shigeko quickly gave me an 'are-you-kidding-me' look, "It's true you're less likely to get your ass whipped by Shadis, but having you laugh at every single fucking think is say is not my idea of fun."

I pierced my lips, "Understandable. What about Gin?"

A devious look soon crossed my friends face, and I couldn't help but regret asking. "Ahh, Gin…" sighed Shigeko blissfully, "This one, is defiantly my top favorite. Every time I steal you a bottle you chug that thing like there's no tomorrow and end up all hot and bothered."

Hearing this, I nearly spit out the yummy contents that had just entered my mouth, "Do not!" I exclaimed.

"It's so hot Shigeko~," the brunette moaned in a sultry voice, "I can't take it. So hot~ I want…I need…_Levi~!_"

My face colored into a dark crimson, and I quickly nailed Shigeko in the face with my only pillow, causing her butt to meet the floor. It didn't even faze her as she quickly wrapped her arms and legs around the pillow, before proceeding to make love to it, while creating obscene noises.

"Oh, yes! Ahh…Nghh…! Levi…more!" She moaned, making me slide a hand down my face in embarrassment.

"Some baby's are dropped on their head as a child," I said in thought, as I continued to watch her hump the pillow that I would soon swap with the Chief's.

Shigeko gasped, "Corporal~! I-I'm…!"

"You were clearly thrown at a wall…"

I had thought Shigeko was done with the whole fiasco, after she had faked her orgasm, but I was proved wrong as she deepened her voice and attempted to mimic Corporal Levi making love to me.

"Mmm, Eli~ you're so hot."

That was all it took for me to set my now empty bottle of rum on the nightstand, before getting off my mattress to press my foot into the part of the pillow that smothered Shigeko's face.

"Quite wishing you were having sex with my imaginary boyfriend. It's pathetic." I stated, before putting one last shove into the pillow and walking towards my bedrooms exit.

God I needed some tequila…

* * *

The wooden floor boards creaked under my boots, as I ambled down the daunting hallway of the trainee building, eyes shifting from left to right, and ears open for any sight or sound of Chief Shadis. Just the thought of the grueling man had every one of my body hairs strictly on end. My long, pink tongue slipped out of my lips every once in a while, as the muscle ran across my teeth and slid on the roof of my mouth, attempting to rid my orifice of the addicting taste of rum. Not that the action would help any; the smell of alcohol was kind of hard to get by, especially when you're dealing with a man such as Shadis. He just couldn't let anything go…

I kept my feet at a steady pace, trying to race towards the exit without looking suspicious, when my yearnings were suddenly shattered, as a certain someone tugged harshly at my collar, effectively choking me, and forcing me to spin around. The Chiefs sunken eyes bored into my own panicked orbs, his stare dragging my spirit out into the cold that pervaded from his presence. I promptly shivered, and gulped with anxiety.

"He-he-hey!" I stuttered, a skittish smile twitching on my lips. I tried to greet him without my mouth opening too wide, as to not alert him of my recent drink.

Unfortunately for me, the Chief wasn't having it and his muscular hand – the one that wasn't choking me with my own shirt – shot up and clutched my jaw, opening my mouth so he could shamelessly sniff its contents, before allowing a growl to rip through his chest.

"It's not what you think sir! I-I can explain!"

Chief Shadis rolled his eyes, before promptly dragging me along with him as he headed towards his office. "Oh, I bet," He drawled, while I focused on digging my heels into the wooden floor boards, and ripping jagged, soon to be permanent scars into his steel grip hand.

Chief Shadis usually just flung me outside and ordered me to run a hundred laps, before overseeing me transport dirty water with my mouth from one hole in the ground to the other, and although neither of those things were ever fun, a trip to the bosses office was an entirely new scenario. Who knew what kind of torture devices he kept in there!

Alligator tears washed down my face like an open faucet, "Come on Chief! Please don't do this!" I pleaded. "It was just one bottle! One harmless little bottle!"

Chief Shadis just shook his head in tire and disappointment, before swinging open his office door and tossing me inside his lair.

"Quiet, you shitty brat!" He bellowed, before kicking a chair in my direction, causing it to fall onto my sprawled legs, "Pick it up and sit down."

I sighed in defeat, as I gloomily raised the chair on its legs and slouched down in the wooden piece of furniture, reluctantly meeting the Chiefs piercing glare from across his desk. This had to have been the millionth time the man had told me to quite with the over consumption of alcohol, and I knew I was in for it. Ever since I started training, I had been monitored as if I were a convict, but I had somehow – with Shigeko's assistance of coarse – gotten around his rules and natural radar. I had a nagging feeling however that he didn't appreciate my brilliance. Who knew Chief Shadis was such an alcohol no-no? Oh wait…

My frown deepened; I did.

From the moment the man had begun dragging me to his office, I suspected everything from simply kicking me out of training – although it was practically over – to ripping my fingernails out with pliers, but my jaw was now slack, as I was truck stupid with his odd query.

"Which division do you aspire to be in?" The Chief questioned, eyes narrowed, and arms folded across his broad chest.

A heart to heart on what I wanted to be in life? No, there had to be a catch.

"Uh…the military police. Sir?" I answered with caution, wary of his motives.

The Chief scoffed, "Figures. You go through rigorous training and constant punishments, specifically so you can drink yourself to death and never lift a finger. It's fucking disgusting."

I couldn't help but laugh at his statement, but more specifically, at myself. All of what he had said was valid; alcohol was my life, and I planned for it to stay that way. "Yeah…" I sighed, slouching in the rigid chair, "That's me for you."

Chief Shadis shook his head, while his right hand migrated over to a stack of files set on the side of his desk, plucking the top one off the mass, before tossing it to me. "What's even more disgusting is that you ranked high enough to get in."

I easily caught the file in my hand, and instantly ripped it open, not believing my ears. White papers fluttered slightly inside the folder, and I fingered through them, quickly realizing that I had actually placed 4th in the trainee rankings. Me! Drunkard extraordinaire. There were many notes – more than I wished to count – on how awful my drinking habit was, and how I would never aspire to anything worth living for, but if I tilted my head and squinted a bit, I was able to make out certain memos on how well a did in many aspects of the training program. Some were even on how the Chief was mildly impressed with my perseverance, concerning his mad punishments.

But…why show me this?

I looked up at him expectantly, waiting for an answer that would explain his scary show of kindness. I regretted the action a second after, as I was stared down with a deathly leer. I gulped, and slowly closed the now more than highly suspicious folder.

"Eli," He said monotonously, "The reason that I allowed you to look into classified information, is because although you have ranked high enough to enter the military police, your unwillingness to accommodate by my rules has stripped you of that privilege."

The silence was deafening; my jaw went slack, and the a-cursed folder slipped through my fingers, crashing to the wooden floor in a display of multiple sheets of paper fluttering around.

"Wha-wha-what do you…" I stuttered, completely dumbstruck at the turn of events.

"What do you mean "What"?" He bellowed, irritated with my suddenly retarded nature. I couldn't even muster up the brain function to flinch. "Your stupidity bit you in the ass, that's what!" He shouted. "You're no longer eligible to sit around and drink yourself into an early grave. Welcome to the real world. I suggest you start getting used to being its bitch. Now get the hell out of my office!"

His harsh words slowly began to register in my mind, and I finally gathered enough sense to stumble out of the chair and proceed to scramble out of the man's office, but unfortunately not before Chief Shadis stopped me in my tracks, with a few more daunting words to haunt my days.

"Oh, and don't even think about joining the garrison. Since you're ineligible to choose the military police, it obviously makes you ineligible for a choice period. I thought long and hard on this, and the survey corps really needs more volunteers."

The only thing I could do at that point – now that my dreams of security in Wall Sina had been mercilessly shattered, and any future existence was already wrapped up in a body bag – was to whip around and glare at Chief Shit-Head, leave him with a nice middle finger…and run out before I got pummeled to the ground.

I stalked through the hallways like a poltergeist, and tried to focus on the fact that alcohol had effectively dealt with my issues so far; this was just another to add to the laundry list.

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

_**Disclaimer:** Shingeki no Kyojin belongs to it's respective owner(s)(Damn it...), and I am in no way getting money off of this (Double dammit!). Eli and Shigeko belong to me, and all characters and situations are purely a work of fiction. Any relation to real people or situations is completely coincidental._

**A/N: So…what do you think? This has been sitting in my folder forever, and I figured "Why not get some opinions on it?" I want this to becom e a large, and someday finished, project. But right now, I'm kind of hanging on the idea department, so any and all ideas are welcome! Come on~ Don't be shy~! **

**NOTE: **_**I DO know that alcohol doesn't necessarily work the way I'm portraying it. Don't take it too seriously. But I DID research, and the only stretch I made was with the alcohol personalities. I intend to keep it as true as possible.  
**_

_Chapter 2 Teaser:_

_"Hey...Aunt Eileen."_

_"Still drinking I see."_

_"Oooh! Me! I'm the missing one!"_

_"Let's tell everybody its alcohol, and see how many act wasted."_

_"Hey Levi~ Aren't you looking sexy this eeevvviiining~!"  
_

_"Welcome to the Scout Regimen."_


	3. Eveyones Escape

**Warnings: **OC (Original Character), Language, Violence, Mentions of Abuse, Addiction, **Un-Betaed**. If any of these things bother you, feel free to either test your comfort zone, or exit from the door on the left.

**Note:** Eli (E-LIE) Elias (E-LIE-YAS) Ambroise (AM-BROI-SE)

**Straight Liquor**

**Chapter 2:**

_We're all addicted to something_

_That takes away the pain_

* * *

After leaving my friend rolling around on the floor with my pillow, and Chief Shadis fuming in his office, I had head out to buy myself a bottle of Tequila.

Translation: I snuck out to buy myself a bottle of Tequila. This was usually Shigeko's job, but I needed to be alone.

The liquor was a bit expensive, but my pockets weren't the ones that were hurting. The pain was only amplified in my chest when the familiar feeling of guilt rose up within me. I swallowed thickly and quickly squashed it down, before sighing as I stared at the glass bottle with empty eyes. I always told Shigeko that I drank so much because that state of delirium was my glimpse of freedom. In truth however, I couldn't be me shackled. My entire world was the confines of this glass bottle. Yet, wasn't that why I drank? To forever be coddled by my fragile barrier of glass?

I sighed deeply and dug my hand into my pocket, fishing out the same amount of money I had paid for the tequila. I then continued on my way, as I walked the streets of the Harmina District. I wished these streets were more familiar to me; I wished I could recall many memories, but it was impossible. I spent most of my days in this district drinking until I puked, before downing some water and drinking some more. I hadn't had much of immunity to the drawbacks of alcohol when I was younger, so those were my worst days. The only images I could recall were of buildings swaying as if lost at sea, and random people who always seemed to have a blurry twin walking next to them. I couldn't even remember when I had met Shigeko. All I know is that I had been retching into a barrel when I suddenly had a bottle of Vodka in my hand. She was always around after that.

My footstep slowed to a halt as I came to face a shabby looking house, not that the surrounding homes were any better. It was my shabby looking house though, and there was something to appreciate about it. I sighed for what felt like the hundredth time, puffing out my cheeks momentarily in the process, before raising a hesitant, shaky hand to the door, and giving a few raps of my knuckle.

I heard soft shuffling noises inside the house, before the click of the lock was heard and the door creaked open. Standing in front of me was an old woman with long, bleach blonde hair, and a slightly chubby figure. She had cute wrinkles on her face; crow's feet and laugh lines that only seemed to give charming character to her already endearing appearance.

I couldn't help but let a smile grace my lips at the sight of my Aunt. She was always so naturally beautiful from the inside, and it just shined out of her. She could go completely bald and I wouldn't be able to tell until someone pointed it out to me.

I wished I could be like that.

"Elias dear, is that you?" Asked my Aunty, looking somewhat sad, and I couldn't help but here the disappointment in her voice. It echoed mercilessly in my ears and beat itself achingly against my tainted heart.

My smile slowly twitched it nothingness, "H-hello Aunt Eileen…" I whispered, before swallowing thickly. "I just came to…um, give you this…" I held out the hand that was clenching the money I had dug out of my pocket moments before.

Aunt Eileen rolled lips into her mouth, looking as if she was holding back tears, before slowly lifting a frail hand to take the money. "Still drinking then I see," she stated, not even having to look at the bottle of tequila in my hand to know. All she needed was me showing up at her door with money, and she knew.

I and my Aunt had made a pact years ago, back when money used to be one or my many obsessions. Every time I bought liquor, it pleased and killed me at the same time. I couldn't take reaching into my pocket and handing over my coins, but I couldn't take going without alcohol either; it was a horrible cycle. So, it would make sense that if I gave the same amount of money I paid for the liquor to my Aunt, I would soon decide that the drink wasn't worth it; I was paying double after all. Unfortunately, money wasn't important as I thought.

I looked away from her in shame, "Yeah...and, I don't think I'll ever stop. I know I keep telling you that I'll change, but…even I don't believe that anymore, and I can't keep lying to you."

"Then why give me this?" She asked in saddened anger, shaking the money in front of me.

"Because this money is no longer some kind of tool to get me to quite. I just don't care about it enough anymore. I don't care about _anything _anymore… I just…I owe you." Salty tears built up in my eyes as my arms began to tremble, "Y-you did so much for me, and all I could to puke on your bathroom floor, and lose your trust through my addiction." The water was now spilling uncontrollably from eyes and down my cheeks, dripping off my chin and onto the dirt. "I owe you so much. Spiritually…and physically," I said, motioning to the money I given her.

"You're graduating tonight…aren't you?"

I bit my tongue and nodded, "I broke my promise. I'm sorry. I said I'd quite before then but…"

The old woman simply nodded gravely, before stepping back into her house, "I hope you do well then. Have a good day."

As the front door, I used to call my own, shut in my face, I was overcome with an overwhelming sense of loneliness, and creeping despair. I knew this would happen, and I had brought it upon myself, but it still wrenched my heart out. I despised being lonely; feeling lost, naked in the cold and uncertain. Acid burned in my throat as overbearing anxiety crashed into me, causing chills to run along my back and my heart to slam itself cruelly against my ribcage. My eyes shifted skittishly, and my hands quivered uncontrollably as I attempted to open my tequila.

I needed it; I needed it now. I needed it sliding down my throat, leaving me with less of a burn than I deserved. Once my fumbling fingers had finally gotten the cap off, I tossed it to the floor and shakily brought the bottle to my lips, tipping my head back to swallow large gulps of the strong liquor, refusing to take a breath until my heart had steadied and my palms no longer shook. The inside of my ears were burning with the sharp sting, but I didn't care; it felt good to be hurt.

I let my tears roll lifelessly into my lips, mixing with the tequila and creating a taste that I should despise more than I did. I stood there for a good five minutes, and in those few minutes, all thought process had left my brain, the ground dropped open beneath me, the buildings fell upside down and all my worries were turned into empty 'happies', floating around me like bubbles waiting to be popped. As I tore the empty bottle away from my moist, stinging lips, a cynical grin stretched across my face, as if the Cheshire cat himself inhabited my body. I raised my bottle in the air, as if to a cheers with God, before downing it to half.

"Maybe the scout regimen will be good for me," I contemplated, making staggered steps towards the training ground. "I'll drink and then die. These are the good old days."

* * *

**-Graduation Ceremony-**

"DO YOU HAVE HEART?"

While everyone put there fist over their heart in salute, followed by a loud "Yes Sir", I was busy swaying back on my heels, fist on the wrong side of my chest and giggling out a "Hell yeah!" My head was clouded with a strong dose of Tequila, and my previous heart ache had drifted away in the alcohol.

Shigeko snickered beside me and nudged me in the ribcage with her elbow. I gave an obnoxiously loud snort, before sticking my tongue out at her and slapping her elbow away.

"As of this moment there are three options open to you! Choose wisely! The garrison regimen: There to reinforce the walls. The scout regimen: They ride out into titan territory to take back what was ours. The MP regimen: Who maintain law and order under the royal majesty."

"Psst! I wanted that one," I whispered to Shigeko.

"Those cadets eligible for the MP have already been named. Look ahead of you. These are the top of your class." The man paused before continuing, "...as you may have noticed, there are nine out of the usual ten."

My mindless chatting and giggling was cut short, as my breath caught in my throat. I thought they would just let the whole matter slide! But no~! They just have to point me out of the crowd. Well…whatever. It would make it easier to invite people to a party if they all knew who I was. With that in mind…

"Ooooh!" I exclaimed, jumping up and down while waving my arms like a bird. "Me! That's me! I'm the missing one!"

All the graduates turned to stare at me with a look of amusement and disbelief. I caught a glance of Chief Shadis slapping a hand over his face, so I blew him a kiss for his 'face boo-boo'. The blonde man that had been speaking faltered, "Well…um. I was just going to say that there were other circumstances at play, but…that works too. Elias Amroise made 4th rank, but will not be a part of the eligible for the MP."

"Woo-hoo! Oh Yeah!"

Shigeko's face was turning an interesting color of red from trying to withhold her laughter, but the dam finally broke and she heaved over with giggles. "Hahaha! Tequila is the freakin' best!"

* * *

The pavilion was packed with enthusiastic cadet graduates. Many grouping together with hands motioning as they chatted about the regimen they wanted to join, while some simply wandered around, searching for the alcohol that was said to be supplied. These 'end of hell' parties were usually held inside, but there was an unusual incline in graduates this time around, so we were shoved out into the pavilion, made to party under the star littered sky.

"Come on Eli! Pull your own wait!" Hissed Shigeko, straining to lift one side of the mock-alcohol filled barrel. We had the genius idea to take the supplied alcohol for ourselves, and replace it with something that tasted _like_ alcohol, and we were now trying to finish executing our plan. I snorted and grinned maniacally, trying to sloppily lift the other side of the barrel while I tripped comically over my feet. The ground felt as if there were ripples going through the earth, and my feet just couldn't find baring. My friend rolled her chocolate eyes and grunted as she heaved her end onto the wooden table inside the pavilion. She shook her aching arms out before helping me follow suit.

"We did it!" I exclaimed, throwing my arms up the air, "I'm sooo strong~!"

"Oh yeah," Shigeko snorted, slapping the imaginary dust off her hands, "It was all you babe."

I grinned proudly to myself and rolled up my my short sleeves to reveal my slightly tones arms. I flexed as well as I could with my Tequila flooded brain - which I thought was a lot - and rubbed my forearm muscles with admiration. Shigeko promptly rolled her eyes and shoved me towards the gathering in the pavilion.

"Come on, we finally filled the barrel with the mock-liquor and hauled its fat ass onto the table. Let's go tell everybody its alcohol, and see how many act wasted."

I grinned and nodded enthusiastically, before clumsily skipping over to one of the many people ambling around in search of the liquor barrel me and Shigeko had momentarily stolen. "Hey duuude~!" I slurred, "Alcohol on the house that-a waaayysss~!"

The nameless guy swished his head from left to right, a light sparking in his eyes when he caught sight of the barrel. "Thanks man!"

Feeling accomplished, I continued on informing everyone I came across. The longer I occupied the pavilion, the more mismatched my steps grew, and the more people I informed about the mock-alcohol, the more blurry twins started appearing next to everyone. Some tables magnified, while others looked as if they were being sent down a rabbit hole. The oncoming delirium caused my head to swim dangerously. Saliva slid down my dessicated throat, as I attempted stave off my nauseousness, but my stomach finally lurched and I immediately reached for the hazy table swaying next to me. To my amazement, my hand went right through the table, and I nearly stumbled to the ground. I caught half my balance however and was able to stay upright as I marveled at my "magic" hand.

"Ho-ho-holy shit!" I spluttered in wonder.

As I focused on my appendage it slowly began splitting into two, so I now had ten fingers instead of five. A hiccup bubbled out of my chest, somehow knocking my flimsy balance off scale, causing me to stumbled backwards into what felt like a soft wall. Cold hands grasped my forearms securely, erupting goosebumps on my skin, and tearing a gasp from my liquor stained lips.

"Hey, watch where your going." Growled the man behind me. The voice was low; so smooth and demanding it sent pleasurable shivers up my spine, so I instantly pulled away so that I could see the mystery man.

He was exactly my height - 5'3" - so I was able to look directly into his narrowing obsidian eyes. I grinned at the obvious leer and dragged my eyes up and down his lithe form. I instantly recognized the man of my dreams. An early memory of my childhood stirred slightly at the sight of him, but that was all it did. It was like a distant thought that was there and gone the next, and I had not a passion to drag it forth.

"Corporal Levi!" I beamed, my voice obviously slurred, "Aren't you looking sexy this fine eeeeveniiiiinnng~!"

His eyes sparked with thunder and a grimace instantly scared his features. He opened his thin, kissable lips to say something to my alcohol logged ears, but my stomach didn't give him the time of day. It lurched with such a sudden ferocity that compacted my lungs, and caused me to heave over as fluids unexpectedly gushed out of my mouth. Levi jumped back in disgust as the bottles of upchucked liquor splattered onto the floor; the puke feeling as if it had raked nails across my esophagus, leaving jagged, bleeding scars while more alcohol rose up out of my insides. Tears spilled down my cheeks and I crumbled to the floor, holding my abdomen in pain.

Familiar, warms hands gripped my shoulders, and I heard the muffled tune of comforting words. One hand moved to pull my hair out of my face, while the other slid down my back to rub circles until I stopped retching.

"Eli...up...go" Those words barley drifted through my ears, but I understood what was wanted of me. I groaned and heaved my body up, my appendages feeling as if made with cement. The bubbly high I had been on crashed so heavily, and I didn't know how to gain my bearings, so I leaned my weight on the person guiding me, and trusted that familiar feeling to make me ok once again.

* * *

**-The Next Day-**

"What do you mean I _puked_ on Corporal Levi!?"

Air entered and exited my lungs at a raid pace, my chest heaving up and down at the effort, and head going light with the hyperventilation. The bottle of Rum I held in my hands wobbled uncontrollably with the combination of my anxiety and chilled shakes. Every patch of skin on my body was clammy, while my stomach swam with queasiness, and my dehydrated body craved anything _but_ the liquor I had firmly clasped in my quivering palms.

"Well...you didn't upchuck _directly_ on him," Shigeko said consolingly, her hands perched on my thighs while she knelt in front of me, "But it might have skimmed his boots."

"How is that suppose to make me feel better?" I asked incredulously, before finally ditching the Rum bottle and diving for the water on my nightstand. I unscrewed the cap on the canteen and gulped the cooling liquid down, before sputtering out a quick, "I hate you!", and downing more.

The pudgy brunette rolled her eyes, "Hey, don't blame me for how drunk you got."

"You told me to drink out of that liquor barrel we stole!"

"You could have said no!"

"I was drunk off Tequila!"

"And that's my fault, how?"

I growled and threw the now empty canteen at her stupid, argumentative face, "You're such a plum!"

Shigeko glared as the canteen missile hit her dead between the eyes, before unexpectedly lunging after me, fleshy arms winding around my waist and tackling me into the mattress. I screeched dramatically and reflexively tried to spit at her face, as she straddled me to the bed. "Your not my type, you gigantic plum!" I exclaimed with earnest.

I then shielded my face as I was promptly wailed on by meaty fists.

"I'm not fat!" She cried, "Your just an anorexic little freak!"

"At least I'm litt-UGH! Fuck!"

She swiftly lifted a leg and kneed me in the gut, knocking the oxygen up and out of my lungs. She then swiped the forgotten bottle of Rum off the bed and tore the lid off, before shoving it past my lips. "Stop being a shitty-shit and take your medicine! We got the last graduation ceremony to get to!"

From my positioning on the bed, my swallowing skills weren't functioning and I coughed and spluttered as the liquor slid down my unwilling throat, and ran down my cheeks and chin. I couldn't breath through my mouth, and Rum was forcing itself out my nose. I was literally drowning in alcohol. My heart rate accelerated in panic, and only after grabbing her plump arm and creating bloody crescent moons with my nails, and allowing fear to spark within my normally desolate eyes, did Shigeko let up. The bottles tip left my mouth, and the flow of burning liquid ceased its relentless current. Tears ran down my face while I turned over and hacked up the liquor that wouldn't make it down, which happened to be most of it.

"O-oh my god Elias!" The brunette gasped, scrambling off me and onto the floor, "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean-!"

"Didn't mean to what!?" I gasped hoarsely, "To try to drown me with a liquor bottle? What in the hells wrong with you?"

I whipped my mouth and swiveled my blood shot eyes to her. I meant to scowl, but instantly furrowed my eyebrows in confusion; now that I really looked at her, her chocolate orbs were dilated and had a case of red-eye. Not to mention the uncharacteristic show of aggression...

My glassy green eyes leered, "What are you taking?"

She avoided my gaze, "I don't-I don't kn-know what you mean."

"C-c-cut the bull-shit," I mocked her, not happy with the blatant lying that was going on here. Over the course of my 19 years of life, I've learned that everyone has their own little escape. Mine was the fake emotions liquor graced me with, and the memories they washed away. My Aunt Eileen's was the calmness that consumed her when her fingers pressed down on piano keys. Shigeko's was the state of constant running, as drugs spiced her life up and took her thoughts and actions to the extreme.

"It's nothing really..." She mumbled, "Just some new drug that's been going around called 'Marijuana'."

"I thought you were done with drugs."

"And I thought you were supposed to be done with drinking by now," She countered with a glare.

"Yes, but my liquor problem doesn't get me in trouble with bad people in the Underground!" I hissed, shifting to sit up in my bed.

She jumped at my 'whisper-yell' and glanced around neurotically, "Would you shut up! Do you want to get me in trouble? What do you care anyway? Soon you'll be in the MP and I'll be in the garrison. Then you won't be-able to give a shit."

"Yeah..." I sighed raggedly, before standing up and snatching my Rum and canteen off my nightstand. I then staggered towards the door and opened it before glancing backwards, "Unfortunately, plans have changed. Turns out I'll be around a bit longer to worry about you, and patch you up when some big buff guys beat you with a pipe for money."

I slammed the door shut, and left her on the floor to interpret my words.

* * *

**-Ending Graduation-**

As soon as Erwin Smith came up to give a speech about why the cadets should choose certain death over the simple life, I had sat on the ground with my knees up and head cocked to sky. Its not like I was on the tip of my toes, ready to take the exit as soon as I was given the go-ahead; Chief Shit-Head had stripped me of that privilege. However, as soon as Corporal Levi was brought forth, with the entry of being 'Humanities Hope', I shoved my head between my legs, not being able to take the questioning eyebrow, then immediate glare from my long time crush. I had been entertaining scenarios staring him since I was eleven, and none of them had gone quite like this. To top it off, I couldn't even leave and just pretend the whole thing never happened. No. Now I had to be in the same headquarters, and fight on the same battlefield.

Life was a cruel mistress. Which was probably why I leaned more towards men...

"To those of you who can't take it, leave now." Erwin said, "But to the valiant soldiers that are willing to risk their lives for humanity...stay. And fight along side us."

I'll I got from that was "Blah, blah, blah, body bag. Blah, blah, humanities screwed". I had faced the facts long ago ago that titans ruled, humans drooled, and that the walls were a blessing, not a curse. If we're cows for the slaughter, I'd rather live out the life I have to its fullest extent, instead of heading out and looking for the goddamned cleaver.

As people instantly turned on their heels and fled like smart people, I lifted my head to look after them in deep yearning. I could have been one of those cadets; my dream was close enough to taste, but not as easily touched. It was like watching Wall Sina chain me down and walk away, and I wanted to reach out so badly I could cry. I blamed my current lack of tears on the medicinal calming of Rum.

Shigeko gaped at me with bloodshot eyes of disbelief, not moving an inch. Her questioning gaze tried to tear an answer out of me, but I just rolled my eyes and gave a her a sad smile.

"Go," I commanded, shooing her away with my hands, "Don't be stupid. I'll be fine."

She shook her head and nodded towards the exit, "Quit joking. Let's go!"

I sat still and shook my head again, "I can't. I've got no choice on this one Shigeko. I'll explain later." She still wasn't moving so I glared harshly at her, "Go!"

Her legs twitched a bit, before her body finally turned, and her feet took their steps to salvation. She looked back at me as she ran, so I gave a her a two-fingered salute, before breathing out a sigh of relief and slumping on my knees. Even the thought of my plump little Shigeko out on the front lines was just wrong. The survey corps was my cruel and unusual punishment, not hers. I didn't think I could stand my drinking problem ruining yet another persons life I actually cared about.

I moaned in self pity, and gazed up at the platform. Saliva instantly gulped down my throat when I saw Commander Erwin's and Corporal Levi's eyes both baring into me. I suddenly felt very uncomfortable, like I had been stripped naked and shined with a large spotlight. Something about their empty, calculating stares dug into my soul, and reminded me heavily of Chief Shadis. I nervously scanned my surroundings to break eye contact, and took quick note of about thirty stupid cadets standing tall, fist over their hearts and head held high. I wasn't dunk enough to not get the hint, so I reluctantly pulled myself to my feet and saluted with an agonized groan.

The commander smiled, "Welcome to the Scout Regimen."

**To Be Continued...**

* * *

**A/N: I appreciate my two followers giving me a chance, and I hope you maintain that chance until the third and fourth chapter, because that's when Levi starts working his way into the picture. The fourth chapter is when he becomes a big part of Eli's life. I know this back-story stuff isn't that much fun, if you don't care for original character centric things, but its essential if you want later chapters to make sense, so bare with me xD  
**

_No Teaser here, but just know that Elias gets his ass whipped into shape, and realizes that things are a lot different here then in the training camp._


End file.
